How to Talk to Young Children About School Safety: A Parent's Guide to Difficult Conversations

I never thought I'd be writing this blog post. Honestly, I wish I didn't have to. But as a childcare provider and mother figure to hundreds of Tennessee children over the past decade, I can't ignore what's happening in our schools anymore.

Last week, a parent asked me the question I've been dreading: "How do I explain to my 5-year-old why we practice lockdown drills?"

My heart broke a little. Not because the question was hard to answer, but because we live in a world where a kindergartner needs to understand why sometimes we have to hide quietly and wait for the "all clear."

The Reality Parents Face in 2025

Let me be straight with you – school shootings are every parent's nightmare. The statistics are sobering. Since Columbine, we've had over 400 school shooting incidents in America. That's not a number I throw around lightly. That's 400 times families like yours and mine have faced the unthinkable.

But here's what I've learned after 12 years in childcare: kids are incredibly resilient when we give them age-appropriate truth and the tools to feel secure.

The question isn't whether we should talk to our young children about school safety – it's how and when.

Why Early Conversations Matter More Than You Think

Children Already Know Something's Different

Your 4-year-old might not understand the word "lockdown," but they absolutely notice when their teacher's voice gets serious during safety drills. They see the news over your shoulder. They hear snippets of conversations between adults.

Kids fill in the blanks with their imagination – and trust me, their imagination is usually scarier than the truth.

Early Conversations Build Trust, Not Fear

When we address children's natural questions with honest, age-appropriate answers, we're not traumatizing them. We're building their confidence in the adults who protect them.

The goal isn't to scare them into compliance. It's to help them understand that the grown-ups in their world are prepared and working hard to keep them safe.

How to Start These Conversations (Without Causing Nightmares)

Ages 3-5: Keep It Simple and Secure

What to say:

• "Sometimes we practice staying very quiet and safe, just like we practice fire drills."

• "There are many grown-ups whose job it is to keep our school safe."

• "If your teacher says to play the quiet game, the most important thing is to listen to your teacher."

• "Mommy and Daddy and all your teachers work together to make sure you're protected."

What NOT to say:

• Specific details about weapons or violence

• "Bad people want to hurt children" (too vague and terrifying)

• Anything that suggests they need to protect themselves alone

Ages 6-8: Add Age-Appropriate Context

What to say:

• "Sometimes people make very bad choices that can hurt others. That's why we have safety rules at school."

• "Police officers and security helpers work with your teachers to make sure everyone stays safe."

• "If you ever feel scared or confused during a safety drill, you can always talk to me or your teacher about it."

What We Do at Kidding Around Child Care Center

Child safety isn't just our priority – it's our promise to every Tennessee family that trusts us with their most precious gifts.

Our Comprehensive Safety Approach:

Physical Security:

• Controlled access entry systems

• Regular safety drill practice (monthly)

• Staff trained in emergency response procedures

• Direct communication with local law enforcement

Emotional Security:

• Age-appropriate safety conversations

• Trauma-informed care training for all staff

• Open communication with parents about safety concerns

• Creating an environment where children feel secure asking questions

Ongoing Training:

• Annual active threat response training

• First aid and CPR certification for all staff

• Behavioral threat assessment education

• Mental health awareness training

Signs Your Child May Need Additional Support

Watch for these changes in behavior after safety discussions or drills:

• Sleep disruptions or nightmares

• Regression in potty training or other developmental milestones

• Excessive clinginess or separation anxiety

• Changes in appetite or eating habits

• Increased aggression or acting out

• Repetitive questions about safety that seem anxious rather than curious

If you notice these signs, don't panic. It's normal for children to need time to process big concepts. Reach out to your child's teacher, your pediatrician, or a child counselor for guidance.

Building Resilience, Not Fear

Here's what I want every parent reading this to understand: talking to your children about school safety doesn't rob them of their innocence. Refusing to talk about it while they live with the reality of lockdown drills does.

Focus on Empowerment:

• "You are so good at listening to your teachers."

• "I'm proud of how brave and smart you are."

• "There are so many people working hard to keep you safe."

• "You can always, always talk to me about anything that worries you."

Emphasize Normal:

• Continue talking about fun school activities

• Celebrate their learning and friendships

• Don't let safety conversations dominate discussions about school

• Maintain routines that make them feel secure

Resources for Tennessee Families

Books for Young Children:

• "The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst

• "When Something Terrible Happens" by Marge Heegaard

• "A Terrible Thing Happened" by Margaret Holmes

Professional Support:

• Tennessee Department of Mental Health: Free resources for families

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

• Nashville Area Mental Health Services: (615) 726-0125

Local Resources:

• Metro Nashville Public Schools Safety Department

• Tennessee Department of Education School Safety Resources

• Middle Tennessee School Safety Partners

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A Message From Child Care Provider to Parent

I know this topic is heavy. I know it's not the childhood we dreamed of for our kids. But I also know this: Tennessee children are surrounded by adults who will move heaven and earth to keep them safe.

Every teacher who practices lockdown drills with patience and calm. Every police officer who visits schools to build positive relationships. Every childcare provider who stays current on safety training. Every parent who has these difficult conversations with love and honesty.

We are the village that protects our children. And we're doing a damn good job of it.

Your children don't need to carry the weight of these worries alone. They need to know that the grown-ups in their world are informed, prepared, and absolutely committed to their safety and well-being.

The Bottom Line

School safety conversations aren't about creating fear – they're about building trust. When we talk to our children with honesty appropriate to their age, we're telling them: "You don't have to figure this out alone. The adults in your life are prepared, and we've got this handled."

And here in Tennessee, surrounded by communities that put children first, that's not just a promise – it's a commitment we live every single day.